Tuesday, March 15, 2016

Blogging Again & Ready to Catch Up

I know I abandoned my blog last year and I have tried several times to write the next post but I just didn't know how to share what was going on in our life. December 2014 - May 2015 was a busy and difficult period in our life, as we were in crisis mode helping my father-in-law in his battle with cancer and caring for my mother-in-law who is plagued with Alzheimer's. 

I hope over the next few days and weeks to get caught back up but I think I want to start with a post I wrote based on a blogpost I came across during my blogging break. The original post written by Maddi is found at Fieleke Front Porch  http://fielekefrontporch.com/2015/03/17/im-not-a-liar-but-facebook-sure-is/

I’M NOT A LIAR BUT FACEBOOK AND


MY BLOG SURE CAN BE.


I have some confessions about pictures I pulled from my Facebook feed and Project Life moments I have picked to share (and will share) on my blog in the coming months...


In this picture, you see Savannah, Carsten, Kim and I taking a selfie at a Red Wing game. What you don’t see is that this is some much needed time away from the stress of balancing visits with my mother-in-law, who is not settling in well at the nursing home and my father-in-law who is battling cancer, while trying to hold down the fort with my 3 kids and my babysitting job of 4 kids as well.


In this picture, what you see is Mom resting peacefully with me in the nursing home. What you can’t see is the previous couple hours when Kim and I fed her lunch, consoled/calmed her, walked with her and sang with her until she relaxed and we could settle her in her chair in time for us to slip out to pick up the kids from school. 


In this picture, you obviously see Mark goofing around with me...making sure my brains haven't fallen out. What you don't see is that we have barely saw each other lately and we are about to slip into his dad's ICU room. You don't see the monitors, wires, leads, medications, IVs, the seriousness of what lays behind the curtain. 


In this picture, you see two people holding hands. What you don't see is the behind the scenes planning it took to arrange the last visit for my in-laws, one battling cancer and the other Alhzeimer's, who honoured their wedding vows til death parted them... 
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and health,
to love and to cherish, 
til death to us part.


In this picture, you see a happy family visit. What you don't see is that it is Mother's Day and we were visiting Mom honouring her as a woman who has done so much for us, but also to share the news that her husband of 54 years had passed into glory. We, as a family, chose to tell mom once that dad passed away, unsure of whether she would understand or remember it.

I’m not a liar, but Facebook and Blogs can be.

As I begin again, I am not trying to be something we are not or to lie about life but I am trying to keep a bit of a journal of the happenings in our life. I will aim to be positive so as not bring people down with the nitty gritty, fights, laundry or dishes that haven't been done in days. I am not intending to give everyone the impression that out life is picture perfect, it's far from that and that's ok. I also want to respect the people that I am sharing life with. I am sure I will post a few of those pictures or stories but please just remember that...

LIFE IS MORE THAN WHAT I POST 

ON FACEBOOK OR MY BLOG.


So the next time you see me post pictures or a new blog post is up, Realize that our life is not just the pretty pictures and fun things we may do, but it is also full of dirty dishes that overflow the sink, never ending laundry, baked cookie fails, sibling squabbles, frustrations with a spouse, sickness, work trips, school obligations, and all the nitty gritty. 

THIS IS OUR REALITY.




P.S. I love this part from the original post...
Life is not 1 dimensional. There are always things happening simultaneously in our lives and none of the pictures we post on social media can adequately portray that.
I think we have to be careful about assumptions we make when we look at pictures and status updates.
Instead of seeing a picture and thinking, “Woah, she looks great. Why can’t I be as skinny as she is? And she has such cute clothes! I wish I made more money to take fun vacations like their family does. Her husband seems so great, I bet they are so happy. She is such a good Mom, too!” We should learn to appreciate our friend’s pictures and statuses at face value, “Oh thats cute, I hope they are having a great day.”
When I am with someone in person that just happens to be my Facebook friend, I have been trying to be intentional about asking them questions that embrace the real messiness of our lives. “It’s so good to see you! How is your family doing with the new move? I’m sure there are some really good parts and some really hard parts about it!” Or, “I saw that your sweet little one had a birthday party recently! That’s really fun! How are you adjusting to all the new things that come with having a 2 year old?”
So do we kick out social media all together? Heck no! I love Instagram and mindlessly surfing Facebook when I get a free 5 minutes, err, I mean, 20 minutes before I even know the time has passed. Oh my kids need lunch? Oops!
So, next time I post a picture on social media, feel free to assume that one of the three females in my house just had an epic melt down and my patient husband is dealing with all our drama, while there is laundry overflowing, dirty dishes, work piling up, and a few really messy situations unfolding. That my friends, is our reality! And I will assume that it might just be your’s too!

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